There is not much technique in learning how to be a truly great lover; it's more about sensitivity and mindset. In this article, both these things will be gone into in depth. From there, only working on yourself from a deep level will help you become a great lover.
How to be a Great Lover
If you want to know how to be a great lover, ask yourself, "Why?" If you want to know how to be a great lover so you can keep hold of your partner with your sexual power, this may be destined to end in frustration, or if it succeeds, it will be an unstable sort of satisfaction. The best reason to know how to be a best lover is because you take pleasure in pleasing your partner. Having this attitude is the most basic principle of the "how to be a great lover" mindset, and from this place most of the things a good lover does will flow naturally.
The "how to be a great lover" mindset is both a way of thinking and a way of being. If you want to really know how to be a great lover, work on getting in tune with your own empathy. Really feel your partner. Really LOVE your partner.
Sensitivity is a big part of the "how to be a great lover" mindset, especially for men, who are socially conditioned not to be sensitive in Western cultures. The best male lovers are those who have been able to get over their social conditioning. This looks like being more feminine, but really it's being more real. Some men have such a problem with social conditioning that they disown their masculinity entirely; this is not constructive for anything. A solid balance, however, between masculinity and femininity, sensitivity and strength, is what being a great lover really means.
Masculinity And How to be a Great Lover
Contrary to what a lot of "seduction" or "pickup" material says, women don't really want to be "dominated". Some do, but what really gets most women off is a DISPLAY of masculinity. It should be done sensitively, feeling her and loving her, and not just because this or any other article told you to. If you happen to be a feminine man, maybe you'd rather a women displayed masculinity with you, which just goes to show how dangerous listening to authoritative voices without question can be.
A DISPLAY of masculinity, then, is not taking over her will. It is expressing who and what you really are, or at least, what you feel in the moment. Sensitivity, again, is so important in knowing how to be a great lover. You love her and care for her; at the same time, you thrust against her powerfully while roaring like a lion and staring into her eyes with a flaming look of passion: that's masculinity. Not control. No women wants to be controlled. If you think about it, if you go too far with certain seduction community mindsets you might just end up being a rapist, and that definitely wouldn't make you a great lover, unless you like prison men. Reach for the "how to be a great lover" mindset instead.
Slowly, Slowly is How to be a Great Lover
Take it slow. A great lover isn't interested in coming and forgetting about it. If you want to truly make love, savour it. Take your time. Enjoy the moment, rather than thinking about the goal exclusively. Actually, don't make orgasm a goal. Make enjoying the moment and giving the most pleasure to your partner a goal. Make sharing love your goal. Orgasm is worthless compared to that.
Get deep into the moment. Really FEEL what you are feeling, SEE what you are seeing. There is no dividing line between hugging, kissing, massage and making love; take it slow and savour every part of it. Enjoy your partner like they were the most delicious sweet imaginable.
Be immersed in the act. Let your attention not only be in what you're doing, let it be DEEPLY in what you're doing. Kiss with such attention that every movement of your lips is perfectly chosen and responsive. Touch so softly, yet intensely that each stroke could make your partner explode. Or stop, and look so deep into her eyes that you both forget yourselves, forget the passage of time itself. If you can't manage this, start developing spiritually until you can. A simple breath awareness practise, 5 to 15 minutes every day is very powerful for this. You can meditate more than that, but consistency is key here and 5 minutes a day is actually excellent.
Personal Growth and How to be a Great Lover
A meditation practise will definitely help you in how to be a great lover. Actually, a lot of aspects of personal growth can help you in how to be a great lover.
Having more energy is always good, so proper exercise, rest and a good diet can help. A vegan diet makes your sweat smell better and your fluids taste better; while a raw vegan diet, particularly a low fat one, can give you lots of energy to be a better lover, more sexual appetite, more sensitivity, and better performance. Raw foodists all agree that the best sex is between two raw foodists.
Contrary to popular belief, meat lowers testosterone levels in men. This is partly because estrogen (a female hormone) is used in the production of meat and blocks testosterone production when assimilated. Meat is also the hardest food to digest, and the huge amount of energy used to digest it is energy you can't use in making love to your wife. Veganism is superior both in making you stronger and more sensitive. Steer clear of soy and its products, though.
The Way How to be a Great Lover
This is a path, and it's not a path that can be walked in a day. Still if you make it your goal to break free of conformity, question everything you live by and come to improve in all aspects of your life, sexual improvement is only to be expected. Learn to make love deeply and with passion, and learn to truly feel and to truly love. Express yourself, and don't repress either your masculine or your feminine side - don't even think about whether you "are" or are being either masculine or feminine. Just be.
This is how to be a truly great lover.
Lightworkers [http://www.lightworkersconnection.com] 'Connection: I help those who walk the less traveled path feel strengthened and supported in their journey.
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